Scattered Pieces

Scattered Pieces
By: Flora Season

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Familial Pieces: The Family's Reaction to the Book

                 This morning I spoke on the phone with my mother. She was elated that she was reading a novel for the first time in years. Normally, she reads books on biblical counseling or on Christian dating, books that can impart her with knowledge on how to help people. But today, she decided to read a novel for pure enjoyment. I was happy for her. I told her I just picked up a new novel myself, The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Similar to my mother, I read only what is required of me to read. Being an English major, seldom do I have time for extracurricular reading. I don't mind very much because I enjoy the works of American classicists; never does it feel like a chore to study their greatness. Of all of our American greats, I must admit  Hawthorne is my favorite. His works entertain and causes readers to give pause to thought. He wrote with a purpose other than to sensationalize his audience. He remained true to his conscious and to his God.

                  To my surprise, my mother told me she had to put my book, Scattered Pieces, down for a minute and decided to pick up the novel instead. I had no idea she was reading my book. I mean, I knew she purchased one of my very first copies, but she gave that one away to one of her friends before she even read it. When my grandmother passed, my mother took the copy my grandmother was reading. I didn't think she was reading it because she kept trying to promote my book to churches and Christian bookstores. I figured if she read it at all, she would know that those were not the appropriate platforms for promotion. Don't get me wrong, my memoir and my message definitely has Christian undertones, but they are delivered in a very REAL way...(if you know what I mean). But, when my mother said she needed to put my book down for a minute, I knew she was really reading it. She had definitely got to the chapters where I wasn't her biggest fan. I knew I would have to cross this bridge eventually with my family, and this morning was the time. 

I'm just going to keep things 100% genuine when I say that in reading my book, I know my husband and my mother were not painted in the best of lights. I've acknowledged this to the both of them. And, it wasn't my intention to ever mar their image or place them on an unrealistic pedestal to save face.  As I wrote, I forced myself to go back to my youth and the early stages of my marriage--two of the most uncomfortable stages of my life--and revisit all of those repressed emotions and transfer them onto the page. As I wrote, I often cried, curled onto my leather office chair hugging myself, trying to bring myself solace, attempting to bring myself back into the realities of present day that those events had passed away. As I wrote, I often prayed God would continue to help me in the process of forgiveness.  It's true what they say, "one can forgive, but not forget." Well, in order for me to forgive, I had to forget. But, when I had to tap back into the reservoir of my psyche, all of the hurt, all of the anger, and all of the fears resurfaced. After composing certain chapters involving my husband, I had to walk over to him and hug him, kiss him, and tell him how grateful I am that we overcame those obstacles. But, I'm not married to my mother. The wounds involving her and my father are from most of the years of my existence, and they came apparent to her as she read.

                   When my mother implied that my book was difficult for her to read because of the things I wrote about her, I immediately empathized. I acknowledged the validity of her concern and assured that it improves in its conclusion. I also told her that with the exception of the introduction of my high school years and the book's final chapter and "Afterword," I wrote from the feelings and emotions I experienced during documented events. It was necessary for me to do so in order to underscore the development of my psychosis. My memoir's "Introduction" shows both she and I--two people who endured different forms of abuse from the same abuser, my father. The book unveils the aftermath of the abuse on the parts of both of us. I told her that in reading from a psychological perspective a reader can gain a deeper appreciation. Thankfully, she understood.


Monday, May 17, 2010

Not Your Ordinary Pieces

          Over the past two weeks, I honestly have not been doing much to promote my book, Scattered Pieces, but I have been giving it much thought. After all, every action is first incubated within the confines of our imagination. (SN: Feel free to quote me) I've contemplated website ideas that would promote my charity efforts and about doing a college/university book tour but to put these ideas into action requires a lot more energy than I currently have to exert. At the beginning of this month, I took my finals and decided to make every effort to relax before I embark upon my final semester in graduate school (which begins next month). But, my idea of relaxation is to work. I honestly have no concept of how to perform this verb, for I operate it as a noun: I enjoy the idea of relaxing. So, even though I haven't been actively involved in the promotion of Scattered Pieces, that doesn't mean I haven't been creative. Seeing two of my poems, "Elementary Lessons" and "Out of Body," published in Hardin-Simmons University's 2010 student literary / art publication, the Corral," inspired me to write more poetry and short stories for my upcoming book, which I aspire to publish in 2011. Presently, I'm trying to decide if I want to go the self-publishing route again with the next book or the traditional route. I change my mind like the wind, so I suppose I must wait to see the direction in which the wind blows me.

            I know this post has been uncharacteristically short (by my standards), but I promise to catch everyone up when more action occurs. Although there's been a thunderstorm in West Texas for the past four days, I'm going through a little dry spell, so please bear with me and pray for me. And, until I blog again....


Flora

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Voiced Pieces: Tales from the Author's First Book Signing

It is important, for a self-published author especially, to be on his or her grind if there is an earnest desire for your voice to be heard. Since the publishing of my book in January, my voice has been a whisper to the public. Because of the curve ball thrown to me by life,--tumult in my marriage, sickness and death of my grandmother, and undergoing the stages of the grief process--I did not want media hype to sprinkle into my "things to handle" mix. I wasn't ready to prepare myself with the image appropriate explanations to all of the potential questions related to my story. I wasn't ready for people to be proud of me or disappointed. Simply put, I just wasn't ready. But now, my voice is gaining strength; I am prepared to turn that whisper into a roar.

At the beginning of last week, I received a phone call from a number that was not stored in my phone. I answered with much surprise when I heard the voice of the gentleman from the bookstore. He was calling to confirm that we were still on for my scheduled book signing on Saturday. I told him, "yes" and informed  him of my intentions of dropping copies of my book off on the Thursday prior. He thought that it was a marvelous idea and then proceeded to ask me about my sponsorship of the Noah Project, a local organization that supports women and their children who are transitioning out of domestic violence. This part of our conversation wouldn't seem abnormal if I had given him knowledge about this endeavor. I told him I did not recall telling him about that, and he informed me that the organization contacted him. They wanted to confirm the signing and told him that they would be there on Saturday in support of my event. Then, he asked me if I was nervous about Saturday. I said, "No, I don't get nervous about anything until the day of." He said, "Well, I would be nervous. All of the media attention you're getting-- well, what time is your interview any way?" "Interview?" I asked. "Yeah, Noah said someone from the paper will be here to interview you before the signing." Instantly, a childhood nervousness overtook me. The kind of feeling I used to feel while playing Hide and Go Seek crept into my stomach, and the smell that always gave me away seeped out of my....well, you get my drift. Media? I was not preparing to deal with media. I mean media is good. Media is great for any contributing member of the arts or humanities! But, media was not something I felt I was ready for. But, I have never been one to fight God's will. So, if that's the direction he has planned for me, then let's go! The book manager who once told me to only bring 20 books to the signing because he never has an author to sell more than 20 was now suggesting that I bring double that.  After hanging up the phone, I had to calm my nerves. I needed to take the focus off myself. I started rationalizing how the attention was good because it meant I would have more money to donate to the organization. This was an opportunity to shed light upon their efforts for women and children. I called my soror who's a publicist and asked her to whip me into shape for my upcoming newspaper interview. She wanted to focus the attention on my community service activism. No! No! No! I coped better when I planned to focus on the organization, not my benevolence. There was not going to be an easy way around it. I would have to be ready to tackle this head on--me being in the spotlight.

Thursday, I went into the store to be briefed on the process. I gave them 35 copies of my book, and they said they would all be scanned into their system by Saturday. They showed me where I would be sitting for the signing and explained the arrangement of my display. I was hoping the store would purchase my book, but they didn't. How it works for self-published authors who they do not carry is they allow us to come in and sell our books on consignment where the store reaps 30% of our profits. This could place an author at a financial loss or leave them with very little profit. An author must purchase copies of his or work. These copies are sold to the author at a discounted price by the publisher. The author can use these copies to solicit book reviews or to sell independently. With this understanding, the store can mark up the book to off set some of the author's profit loss. The good thing is the book is entered into the store's system, and if their regional or district office sees its sales numbers are strong, they may add the book to their list for national distribution in their stores. To assist in this goal of wooing the company, the book is placed for a week or two at the front of the store next to new releases. This is where the cover of the book plays a vital role if the author's name cannot sell on its own.

Saturday was book signing time. I fretted for several hours over what I was going to wear until I just finally put something on. Then, I had to think about my hair, the color of my lipstick, and the most appropriate purse, not to mention go on a scavenger hunt to find a good pen to sign people's books. All the while when it came time for the most important part (the printing out of my press release to distribute to media), I didn't have enough time to plan or make plans for printer failure. My soror told me to have someone there to take pictures, and I forgot my camera. No camera, no press release, so much for post-event promotion. I arrived at the venue with five minutes to spare only to see no table in the spot where they told me it would located and not one single copy of my book. I found my contact, and he invited me to have a seat in their cafe and enjoy a latte until everything was set up. Thirty minutes later, he returned with an apology for not having a table cloth.

He set up the table with copies of my books and placed them on a beautiful display stand, and I adorned the table with bookmarks, business cards, and post cards that all contained a synopsis of the content. I sat behind the table ready to go and watched people stare at me without daring to approach. For the first two out of the four hours I was there, there wasn't a single customer let alone a member of the media to interview me. There were no representatives for the organization I volunteered to sponsor, all that was there was me and my books and the guy who worked for the company who pitied me for that moment. Trying to entertain yourself at a book signing where you are the featured author is quite a task. I wanted to spend my time on Facebook mobile, but that wouldn't give a polished, professional image. Finally, through the door came two members from my former book club. They came to the store just to lend support, and I was glad to see them there. They stood and chatted with me for a while, and one of them took a couple pictures with my camera phone.  Both of them left after some considerable time without purchasing a copy. Soon after them came a lady who picked up a copy, read the back cover, and said, "Sorry, but I can't read your book". Talk about being caught off guard. I said, "ok." Then, she went on explicating her statement. She is a survivor of domestic violence, and her wounds are still too fresh to engage in the literature. Then, I met a gentleman who is an aspiring Sci-Fi author. He spoke to me about his efforts over the past two and a half years to get published. He spent over $2000 in just trying to get someone to say, "I'm willing to pitch your book to publishing houses." I also met people who asked what my book was about then said, "good luck to ya" before walking away without a purchase. But, then I saw one of my classmates--a mature gentleman who absolutely works my last nerve in our Multicultural Counseling course. He enjoys promoting the most stereotypical movies and t.v. dramas to our class for them to gain a better understanding of African Americans. When he first learned I penned a memoir, he wanted to know what a person in my age bracket could possibly have to write about. This preceded his comment of most writers only become famous after they're dead. When he spotted me, I said to myself, "Great." But, for the first time in our encounters, he was positive. He was actually excited to see me sitting there and after my being there for three hours at that point, he turned out to be my very first customer. The next customers after him were women who were enthused about my work and asked me about speaking engagements.

After my book signing, I was contacted by several of my friends and sorors, all wanting to know how everything went, and I told them, in all honesty, it went well. A part of me was a little disappointed, especially since I prepared for something that didn't happen, but at the same time, I was relieved. I was able to feel out a book signing without the added pressures. And, even though I walked away with only selling two books, I was happy. I was out in the community, speaking with people--connecting with people. Even if someone passed by my table without purchasing a copy, they had to become aware of the issue presented. My words may not have been read, but my voice was heard. I believe when a person lacks selfish ambition, their efforts are blessed. After all, we ought not live life for self, but for others. At the end of that day, the person who presided over the book signing told me he was not going to take a percentage of my profits. Furthermore, he was going to extend my efforts by giving me an extra week to generate sales for my charity. Plus, he believes so much in my work that he is willing to place my book in the hands of media himself. When I went to school the following week, I learned that my classmate bragged about my work to our professor who in turn made announcements to my entire class about it. So, after all of that, how could I ever consider my book signing to be anything other than a blessing.

Whether you are a subscriber to my blog or merely dropped in to read my post, I want to encourage all of you to remain faithful, and watch God's wondrous works.

Until I Blog Again,

Flora